I Do Poetry Too...Sort of

Well look at me, I'm just a blogging fool.  This is twice in one week.  My views increased substantially when I posted the excerpt to the first chapter of my novel--and they weren't all from just me this time.  Anyone who wants to throw a critique in, feel free.  What am I going to do to you...smack you over the Internet?

I'm in the middle of another set of revisions to Enigma Black.  My genre is science fiction, however, Enigma also dabbles in dystopian with a hint of superhero tossed in.  Trying selling that one to an agent. Query review here I come!

The following is a poem from my dabbling in poetry; any comments would be outstanding--fabulous, even:

A dagger through my heart
Blood pours on the blackened concrete
I’m numb from the pain and I don’t know why
Goodbye my love, goodbye

He looks at me with eyes of blue sorrow
Golden ring around the irises
Reflecting broken, golden promises--lies
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Nights filled with endless passion
Wrapped in your embrace
Ecstasy was ours; dreams took to the sky
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Days turned to months
Hours filled with laughter, peace filling my soul
Your words saved my life, ceasing my cry
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Summer stars shone upon you
Your choices sealing our fate in the heavens
Under the horizon betrayal ran high
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Broken soul, broken heart, broken vows
Uncovered in the dark
During one picturesque evening in July
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Forgiveness becomes profanity spoken
Love, though present, is irrevocably broken
All words spoken are thrown to the side
Goodbye my love, goodbye

My life was spared in your arms, to you sincere praise is due
For giving me painful love and blinding heartache
Ensured that my resolve would never die
Goodbye my love, goodbye