Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Enigma Black--Chapter 2

Yet another excerpt from my novel, Enigma Black:



Chapter 2

The Beginning of the End of My Life
 
Like most seventeen year olds, I’d been completely oblivious to what was going on in the world around me and the inevitable ramifications the recent string of attacks would have on my life.  All I knew back then was that I was happy in my own little world--as dull as it may have been.

On an overcast day in December nearly a decade ago, I sat in chemistry class running my fingers along the grooves of the table staring blankly at the world outside my window.  The first snow was going to fall soon, or so they said.  Hooray.  Why my parents had chosen Maryland to live and not some tropical haven, I would never understand.

Next to me, my lab partner was feverishly taking down notes.  Derek was your average run-of- the-mill science geek. Feverishly scribbled down every bit of Mr. French’s more-rambling-than-informative-lecture, he was completely ignoring the fact that his glasses were siding ever so precariously down his nose.  Despite his nerd-like tendencies, he was still a pretty good looking kid with thick, dark hair and piercing eyes the color of kiwis.  Especially evident to me, however, was the fact that his face turned various shades of crimson every time I even so much as glanced in his direction making it pretty obvious that he had a thing for me. From the beginning, I’d made it clear to him I wasn’t allowed to date. Okay, so that was a lie…a lie made all the more interesting by confiding to him that my father was an avid gun collector with a split personality.

Although my aversion to dating seemed to be somewhat of a relief to my parents, I suspected that they were nonetheless starting to wonder about their teenage daughter’s lack of interest in even broaching the subject with them. In fact, I was fairly certain that my mother was chomping at the bit for me to bring a date home to give her an excuse to take me shopping for prom dresses, makeup and all that other frilly, girly crap. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be for I had ulterior motives with my lab partner selection.

Derek was a science phenom; so, when it came down to choosing lab partners, let’s just say it was a no-brainer for me. It never ceased surprising me that, despite his academic intelligence, all it ever took for me to win him over was a simple bat of an eyelash and a lip-gloss infused grin. It’d been one of only a handful of times I‘d used my feminine wiles to my advantage. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t as if I were incapable of passing the class based upon my own merits.  Quite the contrary, it was because I was perfectly capable that prompted me to select him. He was a genius and I was of slightly above-average intelligence which translated into me not having to do too much to ace the class.  Some would call it laziness, I called it efficiency. I’d always been an honor student without even trying. I considered it nature’s way of making up for everything I wasn’t graced with: artistic skills, athleticism, and the uncanny ability to walk into a room without tripping over my own two feet. Classes were just an unnecessary formality creating a damper on my social life.

"Ms. Stevens," Mr. French called my name while leaning dangerously too far over the overhead projector near the front of the classroom.  His stomach was almost as pompous as his ego. As he leaned over the projector, it brushed against the ink on the transparency smudging the glass, putting yet another stain on his two-sizes too small polyester shirt.  He’d just completed his lecture and was scanning the jungle for unassuming prey to devour with humiliation.  Today, I was his target. Oh crap.

"Ms. Stevens, what is reverse osmosis?"

I looked at Derek, giving him a big smile as I turned to face Mr. French, "Reverse osmosis is a method of producing pure water by forcing saline or impure water through a semi permeable membrane across which salts or impurities cannot pass."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Derek giving me a thumbs-up from underneath our table. Mr. French wore a clear look of disappointment as I’d again robbed him of the chance to reprimand me for not having paid attention in class. 

"Very good, Ms. Stevens."

"Thank you," I replied in a tone peppered with a hint of smart ass.

"I think you just stole the wind from his sails," Derek whispered to me obviously amused.

It was apparent that I was becoming somewhat of a bad influence on the future valedictorian. Giving Derek a sly smile, I resumed my descent into la-la land, staring out the window as a lone snowflake fell from the sky.

#

"I have this theory," my friend Lucy announced from her aptly named "co-pilot" instead of "shotgun" position in my Taurus as we were pulling out of the school parking lot. 

I’d basically been Lucy’s chauffeur since obtaining my license a little over a year ago.  Her parents didn’t much care for teenage drivers and weren’t about to add to the problem by allowing their daughter to join their ranks. For some reason, they had trusted me as I--in their words--"radiated maturity beyond my years".  I supposed it was a compliment seeing as how whatever exactly it was they thought I radiated was apparently enough of a reassurance for them to leave their daughter’s life in my hands.

"Oh really? What pray tell is said theory?" I asked Lucy inquisitively.

"Quite simply, the world is ending."            

Lucy’s proclamation nearly caused me to miss a stop sign forcing me to brake rather abruptly, clearly annoying the person in the car behind me.

"Okay," I replied. "You have my attention.  I would love to know where you came up with this theory."

"Just look at all the chaos and destruction going on right now with these bombings taking place. I mean…what else could it possibly be?  There must be some reason for this kind of erratic human behavior.  All the attacks that have been going on and they only seem to be getting worse. Someone or something has to be sparking them."

"What? Because psychopaths don’t exist?  Come on Lucy. there are a lot of evil, psychotic people in this world.  The only difference between now and like fifty years ago is the fact that people now have better access to more tools of destruction.  Take the internet, for example.  There are websites devoted to the sort of chaos that has been going on lately. Plus, there’s way more media coverage than there used to be. We just hear more about everything that goes on now so maybe it’s just that it seems like there is really more happening than there truly is."

Lucy was my best friend even though she’d always been the overtly analytical, paranoid, conspiracy theory type of girl.  These traits tended to wear thin on most everyone else who knew her, but I’d become accustomed to--if not somewhat amused by them--through the years. Whenever she’d suffered so much as a cough, she’d be on the internet researching it, developing speculations as to its origin. Instead of the usual viral causes, she’d more often than not come to the conclusion that some freak pathogen had been released into the air. Over the years I discovered that if I could reason with her by providing cold hard facts, or well spoken bullshit, she was quickly brought back down to reality.

"I suppose you’re right," she finally agreed.
 
"As always."

"So what are you planning on doing over Christmas Break?"

A puzzled look must have overspread my face as Lucy immediately shot back, "You completely forgot that today was the last day of school before break didn’t you?"

"So, sue me for not owning a calendar. Besides, I finished all of my gift buying weeks ago.  I guess I just felt like I could forget about the whole Christmas thing."

"You’re one strange creature."

"One person’s strange is another person’s unique.  Now get the out of my car."

Lucy laughed, rolling her eyes at me as she opened the passenger side door of my car now in her driveway. 
"I’ll give you a call this weekend."

"Thanks for the warning."

She shook her head, closed the car door and proceeded up her driveway.  It was nice actually having a friend who understood me.  I’d made several acquaintances and quasi-friends over the school years, but none of them seemed to appreciate my dry humor like Lucy Pierce did.

Methodically, I backed out of the Pierce’s driveway, carefully avoiding the various ceramic pots and ornamental statues planted at the end of it.  A minor infraction last summer forced Lucy and I to make a mad dash into town to quickly replace a couple of potted geraniums that had somehow mysteriously ended up underneath my tires.  Narrowly avoiding another disaster, I backed out into the road driving the two blocks from Lucy’s house to my parents’ split-level complete with white picket fence.  My parents truly took the whole American dream thing to the extreme. 

By late afternoon the wind had picked up substantially, howling in sheer protest. It all but took my breath away as I opened my car door and made my way into the house.  I absolutely hated this time of year and that’s probably why I always allowed myself to forget about it so easily. The true meaning of Christmas, as far as I was concerned, had been lost years ago in the age of advertising and keeping up with the Joneses. Now, it seemed as though the holiday was becoming more of a time for parents to buy their children’s affection; after a year of neglect masked by the use of television as a babysitter and having a "headache" when asked by them to play catch in the backyard. 

Much to my relief, I was the first one home.  I threw my keys into the wooden bowl serving as a catch-all for all of our miscellaneous junk next to the front door.  There were days when I treasured solitude, a fact of which my mother and little brother never quite seemed to grasp. 

My mother, Carol, had yet to catch on to the fact that I was none too interested in the daily gossip around town. Nor did I care to partake in the standard "girl talk" with her.  Small talk for me consisted of a lively discussion of a novel or a stimulating debate about some hot topic issue.  When I tried to institute such talk with Carol it was like hitting a brick wall, inevitably prompting me to give in to her while patiently sitting and listening to her stories of how the dignitaries in town lived their lives.  I knew everything about Mayor Anderson’s extramarital exploits and Sheila from down the block’s five hundred dollar pumps.  I’d made half-hearted attempts at smiling at all of Carol’s stories as she regaled me with them and was always amazed that she still couldn’t understand why dances didn’t thrill me; why being a cheerleader never really appealed to me--I use to tell her that I wasn’t "rah rah material"; or, why I had no interest in befriending those daughters of the social elite in our town.  The answer was quite simple: I would not allow Carol to live her life vicariously through me. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’d been dealt a decent hand in life.  Carol and George, my father, always ensured that my brother, Jake, and I had everything we needed. George was head of the pediatric unit at Hope Memorial Hospital. Carol was a journalist for the local newspaper with her main expertise--surprise, surprise--being human interest stories. Landing that job had been like receiving manna from heaven for her as there was no one more interested in how others lived their lives than she was.

George was the only thing standing between me and the loony bin.  My father was a little more low-key than Carol, preferring to stay at home instead of attending social gatherings.  Carol and George were complete opposites who miraculously fit together perfectly like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Jake and I were the quintessential brother and sister team.  We pretended to despise each other often refusing to be in the same room for more than necessary. However, if one of us were in trouble, the other would walk on hot coals to kick the ass of whoever warranted it. After all, if anyone was going to do bodily harm to my brother, it would be me.

We lived the perfect, all-American, white picket fence kind of life until one late December day turned everything upside down.

After grabbing an apple from our fruit bowl, I plopped down on my bed, wrapped myself up in my down comforter and turned on the television.  While flipping through the channels, a news bulletin appeared on the screen quickly grabbing my attention. This particular bulletin detailed yet another bombing. This time the bomber had struck an Atlantic City casino.  That would make twice this week and four times within the last month that an attack had occurred.  There was no doubt the insanity was escalating.  Thankfully, this time the casualties were minimal since the casino was struck in the wee hours of the morning. 

I turned the channel only to find another news organization replaying the same story.  A perky, blonde anchor woman who appeared to have had numerous cosmetic procedures therefore appearing perpetually surprised recounted the attack:

"A blast killed three people and critically injured five more at the Flamingo Resort and Casino in Atlantic City shortly after 3:00 this morning.  The blast took out the lobby of the casino damaging much of the gaming floor.  Fortunately, due to the timing of this explosion, there were minimal people on the floor at that time.  The cause of this incident remains under investigation, but many believe this explosion is linked to similar incidences in Philadelphia, Dover and Baltimore all occurring within the last month…"

I turned off the television and lay on my bed staring at the ceiling.  What if Lucy was right?  There had to be a reason for all of this. This couldn’t just be random, could it?  Coming to the conclusion that I was becoming just as paranoid as she was, I put all thoughts of Armageddon to rest and closed my eyes.

#

"Celaine, dinner’s ready," Carol called.

"Huh?" I sat up groggily looking at the clock on my desk.  Apparently, I’d fallen asleep.  Who would’ve thought that staring at the ceiling wasn’t stimulating enough to keep a person conscious.
           
"Celaine!"
           
"I’ll be right down."

It was time for another rousing Stevens’ dinner.  I stood up slowly making my way downstairs.  Not surprisingly, they’d already started eating without me.  When it came to food, my family meant business. 

"So nice of you to join us," my father said sarcastically. 

I dished up a plate of lasagna for myself.  Besides grilled cheese and spaghetti, lasagna was just about the only other thing Carol knew how to make ensuring that we ate those three meals quite frequently. Suffice it to say, she was no Betty Crocker.

"I was talking to Claire today at work," she began. "Apparently, her and Bob are considering building a bomb shelter in their backyard what with all the mayhem that has been occurring lately."

"Is that a fact?" my dad replied with slight bemusement.

"Yeah, they’re really freaked out.  Bob says that if there’s another bombing, he’s selling the house and moving out of the city altogether."

"Bob has always been one to overreact."

"You think?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well these attacks…they seem to be occurring more frequently…in more heavily populated areas. I mean, what if they start bombing highways or…schools."

"Carol."

I stole a glance over at Jake relieved to see him building a garlic bread town in his lasagna, completely oblivious to what was being discussed. 

"Carol," my dad began clearly exasperated. "More than likely these attacks are being carried out by copycats.  The problem is with the media…they sensationalize this crap to the point where those psychopaths tune in to see it. They think they’ll get their names in the history books if they set out to best what has already been done. It’s their attempt to instill further panic.  By building a bomb shelter or uprooting our lives we’d be doing nothing but fanning the flames they’ve created."

George hadn’t been himself lately.  His unflappable demeanor had mysteriously changed recently overnight.  We all noticed that he seemed slightly more anxious lately but couldn’t quite pinpoint the reason for it.  Our best guess was that it was due to more stress put on him at work.  He was extremely well-respected by his colleagues and peers. Some even speculated that he would be in the running for the chief of staff position when the current chief retired later next year.  Whatever it was, George wasn’t talking about it and repeated inquiries from Carol were doing nothing to lighten his mood.

"Well I suppose you’re right," Carol answered clearly deflated, "But still, these incidences are a little disconcerting."

My fork scraped the bottom of the plate creating a blood curdling shriek that brought me back down to reality.  Something about my parents’ discussion surrounding the attacks hadn’t set well with me. 

"Thanks for dinner mom," I said as I stood up.

"You’re welcome sweetie," she replied. "Oh, Celaine."

"Yeah?"

"We’re going to the mall tomorrow to pick up some last minute gifts. Do you want to come?"

"Darn skippy." I was happy to hear the conversation returning to an iota of normalcy.  My father chuckled.

"She’s one strange child," my mom muttered.

"You got that right," Jake announced. 

 "Jake what the heck is that?" my father asked.

"I’m building a replica of Washington DC. See, here’s the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument..."

"For Pete’s sake Jake, eat your dinner." 

I could tell George wished he’d stayed at the hospital tonight instead of coming home.

"And you think I’m weird," I called out as I headed back upstairs.

"It’s not being weird, it’s channeling my creativity."

"I’ve heard that President Brooks thinks that the attacks are becoming more organized," Carol proclaimed returning to that disturbing topic.  "He believes we may be dealing with a domestic terrorist organization bent on staging some sort of a coup.  They’re talking about institutionalizing a nationwide curfew because of it."

I stopped dead in my tracks halfway up the stairs as I strained to listen.

"That will never happen," my dad countered.  "It would be like spitting on the Constitution.  The people simply wouldn’t allow it."
 
 
 

Short Story Time--The Acrobat

The following is a short story I submitted to Writer's Digest based on one of their prompts (in this case, you had to start the story with the sentence "It was on a bright, starry night that the traveling circus rolled into town").  Well, I didn't win--and I also forgot to title the story (whoops).  It had to be 750 words or less which was the tricky part for me as I'm used to writing pieces ALOT more detailed than that. Here it is for your reading pleasure (newly titled):

The Acrobat

It was on a bright, starry night that the traveling circus rolled into town. Carefully, I packed my bags, leery of the watchful eyes of my husband. Too many nights had been spent under his dictatorship. It was time to break free, to reunite with my love.

Many months were spent preparing for this summer night. Months of bribing the mailman into leaving Thomas’ letters in the hollowed out crevice of the Sycamore in our yard. Although, no bribe really had been necessary as even he knew the hell that awaited me everyday.

I’d been married off to John two years ago by my parents who’d considered him the perfect match for me. Coming from a long line of investment banking entrepreneurs, John was wealthy; John was sophisticated; John was my worst nightmare. Each morning, I took extra time camouflaging bruises left in the wake of the night before. Often times, I found myself donning blouses that covered my arms even in the warmest of weather to detract attention from prying eyes. Being young and naïve, I’d wondered if this wasn’t what most marriages were like. That perception was shattered when I met Thomas.

When the circus came to town last year, John dragged me along. Perspective clients were there and he’d purchased the rather pricey tickets to impress them. As the ever dutiful wife, I’d smiled and made conversation with those he was trying to impress--taking my seat next to him when the performances began. One by one, the various acts invaded the center ring: clowns, jugglers, lion tamers and elephants. They performed while I blankly stared ahead into the void consuming my existence. For the last act, the acrobats took to the stage and, for the most part, went unnoticed by me; except for one.

He was taller than the rest of them; handsome, with eyes of forest green. From my vantage point in the front row, my gaze remained on him. To my surprise, so did his. Seconds, seemingly like minutes, ticked by as our gazes remained focused on each other. Those mere seconds were all it took for me to fall in love with Thomas Lenahan. There was an intensity in his eyes that reached into my soul. An intensity that sheltered me from the chaos surrounding me. Finally breaking his stare, he climbed the ladder to the awaiting trapeze.
Through the air he flipped. He was true poetry in motion and my admiration wasn’t the only attention he garnered as evidenced by the shower of applause and roses he received after his finale. Taking a humble bow, he retrieved a single red rose from the ground and, with his eyes once again finding mine, walked over to my racing heart, presenting it to me.

“Thank you,” I hesitated glancing at John.

He bowed at me without saying a word, leaving the ring. An emptiness consumed me in his absence.

“Seems to me the young man took on a charity case,” John muttered softly.

“It would appear so, Darling.”

After the performance, I snuck away while John finished his schmoozing. With rose still in hand, I sat alone on a rock in the back of the tent and cried. With my sleeve, I dabbed away the tears, pulling it up where my makeup stained the fabric.

“A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t have anything to cry about,” a voice near me said. Looking up, I saw Thomas standing over me, a look of concern overspreading his face. “And what’s that!” He pulled my sleeve up revealing my bruises. “Come away with me.” he pleaded.

“What? You’re crazy. There’s no way I can escape him.”

“In case you change your mind,” he scribbled something down on a piece of parchment and handed it to me.

For the next year, I used those addresses Thomas would send me from across the country to correspond with him. At first our letters were innocent conversations between friends, but soon they and our relationship blossomed and I realized that escape was possible.

Promising I would catch up with him, John left for the circus. Then, under the cover of night, so did I. Approaching the tent, I saw John for the last time and made a beeline away from him. In the back of the tent, where he said he’d be, stood Thomas, with a smile spread wide across his face.

“I changed my mind,” I said with a sly smile.

Hand in hand, he guided me away into the darkness.



Friday, February 11, 2011

Universal Laws

It's Friday, I'm lazy--and a tad bit brain dead.  Therefore, I'm submitting a repost for your reading pleasure:

1.   Law of Mechanical Repair  -  After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
  2.   Law of Gravity   -  Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3.  Law of Probability   - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
4.   Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5.   Law of the Alibi   -  If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..
6.   Variation Law   -  If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7.  Law of the Bath -  When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8.  Law of Close Encounters   - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9.  Law of the Result   -  When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10.  Law of Biomechanics  -  The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11..  Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena  - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. . The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12.  The Coffee Law  - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13.   Murphy's Law of Lockers  - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14.  Law of Physical Surfaces   -  The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15...   Law of Logical Argument   -  Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16.   Brown's Law of Physical Appearance   -  If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17.   Oliver's Law of Public Speaking   -  A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18.   Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy   -   As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19.   Doctors' Law   -  If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Your Monthly Plothole-Because Nothing Flattens Your Story More Than a Plothole

First and foremost, I'm no expert; and I will never claim to be. I'm just beginning my literary journey and am not self-righteous enough to believe that my work is better than anyone else's--especially those who actually have had their books published (self-publishing doesn't count). I'm no grammar queen or literary genius.  When I go back over my work for revisions and editing, there are many times I find myself saying, "WTF were you thinking, Sara." Of course, to be fair I do my writing VERY late at night and I also work 40+ hour per week and am essentially a single mother of a four-year-old (the hubs is in the military).

However, with that being said, if it's one thing EVERY writer should be wary of it's plotholes.  Plotholes are these tricky little bastards that seem to crop-up whenever you think your novel is complete.  They're that bitch in high school who stole your boyfriend right from under your nose when you thought everthing was fine.  Yes, plotholes.  Those little discrepancies in your storyline that don't quite jive with the flow of the story or, in worst case scenarios, completely contradict the plot/sequence of events you've so nicely laid out.  Even the littlest of hole--for most of us---can sink an entire ship. 

Unless, of course, you're my first nominee.  With that said, it's time for my first ever monthly Plothole rant. And the lucky victim is--drum roll:

BREAKING DAWN

Plothole:  Vampires do not and/or cannot change.  That's why Edward Cullen never aged past 17; why girl vamps can't conceive; why Joan Rivers' face hasn't fallen off yet...oh wait, that's for an entirely different reason...In Breaking Dawn--SPOILER--Bella gets pregnant by--unless she's leading some secret life--Edward Cullen.  Edward Cullen is a vampire.  Female vampires can't ovulate because, as the book says, their bodies don't change.  So, does that mean that male vampires can continue to produce the swimmers necessary to impregnate a woman?  Last time I checked, a man's body needs to go through some sort of cycle to produce these bad boys (or girls)--correct me if I'm wrong anatomy wizards--and don't even get me started on the fact that blood flow is needed to make other appendages...Ahem...work.  The mere fact that Bella was able to get pregnant was Breaking Dawn's "jumping the shark" moment for me and, in my opinion, a huge plothole contradicting several statements made throughout the series.  

Possible fixes:  Drop the whole our bodies don't change thing and let the female vamps get knocked up (I know Rosalie wouldn't have protested to this);  make their bodies change only...slowly; make Jacob the father (of course, that would detract from the later creepadelic plotline).

Of course, when your biggest fans are teenage girls who are so in love with a fictional character that they can't even see straight, then having a plothole the size of Texas is just a mere technicality. Today, I actually saw a poem by--I'm presuming she was young--girl.  The poem was entitled Edward Cullen and was filled with a monotony of depression-filled rants about how she will never be able to be with him or even touch him for that matter.  It made me want to find her, say "Aw honey, come here," take her in my arms, and SMACK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HER!  Are you flippin' kidding me???!!!!!

Til next time and next plothole (which I'm sure will be something else from the Twilight saga).





Thursday, February 10, 2011

Superhero Fiction the Next Big Thing? If the Big Guy Upstairs Loves me it will be...

Most call it science fiction; some call it speculative fiction, but in reality it's superhero fiction.  What's superhero fiction, you ask?  Good question.  Once considered soley for comic books, superhero fiction--and my genre of choice--is finding its niche in novels. This means that caped crusaders could be kicking vampires and werewolves off of  their pedestals high on the bookstore shelves soon, very soon. Soon, Enigma Black may have a market and I won't have to worry about how many agents are cringing at the word "superhero" in my query letter.  In the words of Mr. Burns..."Excellent."

Check out the following link for further details:

http://io9.com/#!5715790/superhero-fiction-the-next-big-thing



I Do Poetry Too...Sort of

Well look at me, I'm just a blogging fool.  This is twice in one week.  My views increased substantially when I posted the excerpt to the first chapter of my novel--and they weren't all from just me this time.  Anyone who wants to throw a critique in, feel free.  What am I going to do to you...smack you over the Internet?

I'm in the middle of another set of revisions to Enigma Black.  My genre is science fiction, however, Enigma also dabbles in dystopian with a hint of superhero tossed in.  Trying selling that one to an agent. Query review here I come!

The following is a poem from my dabbling in poetry; any comments would be outstanding--fabulous, even:

A dagger through my heart
Blood pours on the blackened concrete
I’m numb from the pain and I don’t know why
Goodbye my love, goodbye


He looks at me with eyes of blue sorrow
Golden ring around the irises
Reflecting broken, golden promises--lies
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Nights filled with endless passion
Wrapped in your embrace
Ecstasy was ours; dreams took to the sky
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Days turned to months
Hours filled with laughter, peace filling my soul
Your words saved my life, ceasing my cry
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Summer stars shone upon you
Your choices sealing our fate in the heavens
Under the horizon betrayal ran high
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Broken soul, broken heart, broken vows
Uncovered in the dark
During one picturesque evening in July
Goodbye my love, goodbye

Forgiveness becomes profanity spoken
Love, though present, is irrevocably broken
All words spoken are thrown to the side
Goodbye my love, goodbye

My life was spared in your arms, to you sincere praise is due
For giving me painful love and blinding heartache
Ensured that my resolve would never die
Goodbye my love, goodbye
 
 
 
 
 

Monday, February 7, 2011

Enigma Black-Chapter One Excerpt

Elevator Pitch:  Ten years ago she was the target; now, she's the assassin.

The following is the first chapter of the first novel of my science fiction trilogy entitled Enigma Black.  As of right now, I'm in my fourth--or maybe, fifth--set of revisions for the book after having received my first rejection from an agent on a full manuscript request.  I now know what the expression the first cut is the deepest means because ouch!  I can't say as I blame her as the manuscript really did need more work and it is most certainly receiving it now.

Enigma Black, although science fiction, has dystopian as well as romantic elements.  Because I'm sick of doing queries at the moment, I'm going to spare the synopsis and just say "here you go":
 
The Incident at the Flamingo Resort

He wearily paced the casino floor wanting desperately to join his sleeping family back up in their room. Unfortunately, as a chronic sufferer of insomnia he knew that any effort at attempting sleep now would be fruitless, and his restlessness would only disrupt his wife and son from their slumber. So, instead, he forced himself to meander through the aisles of slot machines in an effort to build up enough fatigue to hopefully knock him out. Oh how he hated those machines. On top of the shrill noises emanating from them, he also found himself having to shield his eyes from the flashing lights the ones at this particular casino emitted.

To add insult to injury, the dreadful apparatuses were also specially constructed to tie in perfectly with the ultra-annoying beach theme of the Flamingo Resort and Casino. When he and his son first arrived at the resort earlier that day, he couldn’t resist tapping him on the shoulder to whisper something about a flamingo throwing up after an acid trip. This jab had instantly changed his son’s expression from one of horror to one of sheer amusement. His wife--needless to say--had not been amused.

Aside from its attempts at depicting a cutesy family-themed vibe, it was still a casino with the same droll neon signs marketing poker, black jack, and craps all while using the potential of various monetary jackpots to lure the masses in hook, line and sinker. Like fish with torn mouths, they always took the bait coming back for punishment time and time again.

It was his wife’s idea, coming to Atlantic City. Had it been up to him, he never would have set foot in the place. For his wife it was the perfect culmination of her love of the ocean and machines that flashed and clanged--or so he suspected--that had lured her here. None of what this eye sore had to offer held any interest to him. If he had his way, they would have vacationed somewhere sunny, warm and somewhat educational such as the Alamo or the Mayan ruins. Unfortunately though, as she so often did, his wife had won the argument meaning that he and their teenage son were once again forced to endure yet another one-sided vacation.

After a half an hour of strolling aimlessly on the casino floor, he decided he’d rather not endure a migraine on top of his persistent insomnia choosing, instead, to catch some air on the boardwalk. Within seconds of stepping outside it became immediately apparent to him that the casino may be the lesser of two evils. The frigid December winds caught him off guard, assaulting him with everything they had. Ignoring the stabbing cold, he walked across the deck where he noticed a solitary figure looming in the darkness. The sharp contrasts of man’s face were revealed slightly by the small flame of the cigarette between his lips. As he drew nearer the man began to speak.

"It’s enough to freeze your cojones off out here," the stranger spoke. "If it weren’t for this damn addiction I’d be curled up in bed snuggled up nice and warm next to the saucy redhead I picked up earlier."

He smirked at the man’s vulgarity. Unsure of what to say but not really wanting to engage him in conversation, he offered up a quick retort, "What are you waiting for then? Put that thing out and get back there."

The figure chuckled, flicking away ash from the end of his cigarette. Preferring to be alone he, walked down the stairs leading out to the boardwalk with the weathered wooden steps creaking violently under the weight of each of his footsteps. Pausing under a light post, he put his hands in his pockets for warmth watching the ocean as it became one with the night sky on the horizon. As another blast of wind cut through his skin, he laughed at the irony of the moment. In that instant, his surroundings matched the mood that had hung over him like a dark cloud for the last several years.

He loved his wife dearly but was confused as to whether this love was coming from his heart or from the feeling of indebtedness he harbored for her having supported him during a prolonged battle with prostate cancer. He'd been diagnosed shortly after the birth of their son. The cancer had struck him unmercifully, wreaking havoc on his body until there was virtually nothing left of it.

Miraculously, after several grueling rounds of chemotherapy and an extensive amount of recovery time, the disease went into remission.  However, in its wake, he’d been rendered a frail shell of a man with the disease not only having robbed him of his dignity but also stripping him of his manhood as well. Being unable to produce anymore biological children with his young wife robbed her of her dream of having a big family. Since they had neither the resources nor the interest in adoption it’d all rested upon his shoulders and he felt as though he'd somehow failed her.

Despite his illness and her unspoken disappointment with the path her life had taken, her devotion to him never wavered. So it was, on a day nearly fourteen years ago, that he made a promise to give his wife the world in exchange for the life he was unable to physically deliver to her. Years later, this promise felt more like a life sentence. Lately, he was beginning to feel as though his debt to her had been paid in full with inflated interest and that their son, Ian, was the only thing keeping him tied to her anymore.

Ian, oh how his young son was the spitting image of him. They looked alike, spoke alike, and even possessed some of the same mannerisms--such as the propensity to breakout in laughter at the most unusual of times. His son was the miniature version of him in every conceivable way and it was all his wife could do to keep from pulling her hair out because of it. It was yet another way he reminded her that he’d been nothing but a disappointment to her.

He stood in placid contemplation staring into the black hole unfolding in front of him. Wind swept around him with more ferocity thoroughly chilling his body to the bone; the lone figure on the illuminated boardwalk. Removing his hand from his pocket, he looked at his watch. It was nearly three o’clock in the morning. Figuring he should return to thaw out and attempt to rejoin his family, he walked back toward the steps to the deck of the casino.

A shudder overcame him as the casino came back into view, but it wasn’t due to the cold. It was a shudder emitted from the mere site of the garish pink neon flamingos whose animatronics seemingly made them dance around the entryway. Why did I let her talk me into this, he thought to himself as he opened the door where he was greeted by a rush of heat and a synthetic palm tree leaf straight to the face.

The gaming floor was eerily quiet being as it was relatively deserted. However, even in the tranquility of this moment a sense of impending doom overcame him. Invading his thoughts, it followed with each step he took on the gaming floor, persisting throughout his walk across casino toward the guest rooms. On the news he’d heard about a string of attacks taking place recently. These attacks, in the form of bombings, appeared to be occurring at random and without any clear purpose other than for pure shock value and the sick, homicidal amusement of their perpetrator. Such attacks had prompted him to suggest to his wife that they reschedule their vacation until the world returned to normal again, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She’d accused him of backing out on her causing him to concede defeat immediately. Besides, out of the multitude of potential targets out there why would The Flamingo Casino and Resort be anywhere near the top of the hit-list?

With a sigh and a shake of his head, he turned around to appease his sudden uneasiness by doing a quick sweep of the gaming floor and the remaining people on it. Not surprisingly, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary in either respect. Oh great, I must be losing my mind along with my sleep, he thought to himself. Satisfied with his survey of the room, he hypothesized that his sleep deprivation was causing pure paranoia to take over his mind.

"Get a grip," he mumbled under his breath as he turned back around to walk down the hallway.

Then it came. A violent, deafening commotion erupted from behind him instantaneously throwing him to the floor. In stunned confusion, he looked up from the pink and green palm tree-etched carpeting in time to see, to his horror, a wall of fire steadily overtaking everything and everyone in its path moving steadily towards him.

The casino’s plastic ambiances melted in the scorching heat as did its organic patronages, going up like dry kindling in a tidal wave of flame. Any screams escaping the mouths of the few in the path of the devastation were quieted by the fire’s wrath. There wasn’t any time for him to take evasive action and he knew that any effort to do so would be nothing short of suicide. Putting his faith in the hands of another, he laid on the floor shielding his head with his arms as the flames consumed him.