Wednesday, March 9, 2011

On the Anniversary of my trip--I bring you my "I hate Arkansas" blog

Three years ago I drove through Arkansas.  Today, I'm still bitter.  Therefore, to commemorate this Anniversary, I have imported my "Arkansas Blows" blog from the now defunct Myspace world:
Okay, besides being pretty much the cockblock of my trip (sorry but if you were to drive through this God forsaken state you would know what I was talking about), I've noticed that Arkansas has a high rate of idiot.
I'm not cutting down everyone from Arkansas.  Maybe I just ran into the small percentage with the missing chromosome in their gene pool.  And, maybe that small percentage happened to be traveling with me on the highway on my way down.  I guess that's what I get for driving.
Anyway, I was heading down the highway and I found myself behind some random redneck pulling their boat behind their pickup truck. Now,  people with some intelligence would make sure that everything was secure in the boat before traveling 70 mph down a highway. I mean, its what I would do, but hell my parents weren't cousins. These jackasses did not have the common courtesy that the vast majority of the population (or so I would like to think) would.
Ok, so I was going 70 mph behind this boat when all of a sudden a cooler, yes, a cooler flies out of the back of the boat and strikes the front of my car.  Said cooler bursts into several pieces and the lid flies up and strikes another vehicle behind me.  Anyone with any common courtesy would, oh I don't know, pull over.  Yeah, not in Arkansas. Yes, the driver did notice the cooler striking my car.  I'm thinking he probably just laughed and carved another notch in his dashboard.
Thinking that the flying cooler of doom had hit my headlight, I exited off the highway to inspect my car.  The good news was that my headlight was fine; the bad news was that I was missing a small panel/cover thing next to my headlight (yeah I know nothing about cars).  I made the determination that it probably wasn't that important and that I was almost to Texas so I wasn't going to file a police report or wait around any longer as the theme from Deliverance (at least I swear it was) was playing at the rest stop I stopped at.
It all turned out ok though.  Replacing the panel will only cost me $15 so those idiots didn't completely "F" me over.  However, if I never see the state of Arkansas again, I will be stinking happy.

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